Halley's Comet - 1986

Halley's Comet - 1986

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Leaving Facebook

I am leaving facebook. It’s not really about the social network itself, in fact, I think online social networks are a wonderfully valuable tool in so many ways. However, this is a personal statement about how I feel about what is happening in my life right now and how facebook has become an epicenter of resembling all of those qualities which I am trying to overcome.

First of all, the meaning of relationships in my life is very important to me. I value the physical presence of people and I value the effort that it takes to stay in touch with those you choose to connect with. I value the present moment and how it means more than any facebook picture can replicate. I feel that because I have spent so much of the last several years (almost half?) of my life exploring online socialization, I have lost a lot of these values that I hold dear to being human. And it’s gotten worse over the years! It’s not as though facebook takes away from personal relationships that I've already cultivated, but it does take a lot of energy and place it into a medium that is about expressing myself in images and snapshots of time, and blasting it out to several hundred people, many of whom probably wouldn't make the reciprical effort to be a part of my life.

My other intention is to take that energy out of capturing life in snapshots, and place it into capturing life in real time. Deepening the meaning of truly being in an experience rather than how it can be told as a story of ‘who you are’

I suppose you could look at Facebook as a form of art…an art in expressing yourself to the public, an art in engaging followers, an art of collecting connections; however you want to look at it, it’s an expression of a person. And I am all for self-expression and art. That's probably one reason why I Love it and have let it get this deep. I also think you could say facebook is an experience in itself. However, my feeling is that it has become a very shallow experience which I am adapting to, more and more, rather than seeking more fulfilling depth.

The art form I am looking to express is the art of living in the present moment, expressing my true essence through each handshake, each conversation, and each manifestation of the universe that I am personally interacting with. I want these experiences to cultivate as they are in the present, so that I can learn to trust my intuition, tap into knowing that the present will only manifest into what it can possibly become through experience. It’s an effort that is about acting and reacting to what is now, to flow into what is reflected and projected into what is to become. This is in contrast to the intention of planning how I 'wish' to 'portray' myself...or trying to judge what 'appears' to be rather than what is present.

This is not me placing a value judgment on facebook or those who utilize it. Just about everyone I know is on there, and believe me, I truly understand the social utility that I will be missing out on! This is about what facebook has become to me. In fact, given that I do all of my work from a computer, and I work in social media, it has probably become more entrenched for me than for others. It's become so close to home that I feel it has slowly crept into my social DNA and blood. This blood has begun to feel uncomfortable, as though it’s effecting my motivation, my space, and my time in ways that don’t feel healthy , natural, and in essence, feed only my ego. So I’d like to extricate myself from this experience for some time, to see how I might grow without it.

That's all :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm in Berkeley California

It's been quite a while since I last visited this blog...I think I decided to stop blogging because I didn't want to share so much of myself with the world at large. I have once again come to that realization, but now it's in relation to Facebook.

I just went back and re-read my blog posts from the stage of life when I was living in Austin, TX - and I find it fascinating how my way of thinking has matured so much since I wrote all of those blog posts. I'm stil totally in line with a lot of the underarching themes of those blog posts...but I can hear my younger voice and it's cool to notice the growth. I even think the same when I look at the headline quote I chose "if you don't know where you are going..." I still like the quote, so I will keep it. But I definitely am a bit more clear on where I am going, and have every intention of choosing roads more deliberately.

Now that I have moved to Berkeley, CA, my biggest focus is to try to live in the moment, to see things as they are according to the clarity of communication between my heart and mind, and to eliminate the influence that my ego has over the decisions I make and the way I project myself to the world. Yes, a tall order! But I've been fascinated by the idea of Ohm (symbol above)...arriving upon a state of conciousness that eliminates the barrier of the ego and emerges as 'truyia' or your true self. This fascination began in the 24 hour Starbucks in Old Town, Chicago, when a random friend I met there explained the meaning of the symbol to me on the back of a napkin. It just so happened this was at that time of my life I was preparing to go to India for the summer, and also months before the big move to Austin was going to take place.
Now, here I am preparing to go abroad for my first trip to Europe in a few weeks, and thinking about states of consciousness again.

I love traveling because it's always going to wake you up to a new state of consciousness when you are placed in a foreign enviornment, outside of what you experience day to day. So I would like to go into this trip, fully aware that I have every intention to experience it moment by moment, fully present. I think I can do that.

I also just moved to Berkeley and just turned 25. So, I'm consciously entering into a stage of life filled with strong intention. To understand why I take each action I take, and how it relates as an expression of what I want to manifest.

I'm about to make a radical decision to help with this awarenss process...which I will share in the coming days.